Me in 30 seconds.

Once upon a time, this week, I went to a job interview. And they hired me.
I heard a guy (aka my dad) say that you need to be prepared with a "Me in 30 seconds" if they ask for it. Guess what? They didn't ask for it. So I'm just going to write it down here, just in case I ever need to refer back to it in the future.

Future employer: "So can I have your 'Me in 30 seconds'?"
Me: "You got it dude!":

"Well, my face turns red when I'm embarrassed, I sing when I vacuum, I get jumpy really easily, I could write a 20-novel series with all my journals, I lose my breath when I hear a good song, I choke on my spit when talking to strangers, I want to discover a new fruit in the rain forest, I wish I could run forever, I want to be a cop so I can pull people over going under the speed, if I could get paid doing anything in the world, it'd be laying on grass, I am obsessed with water, I've been off sugar for 5 days, I never thought I'd like country music, but I do, I get the chills when someone says something profound, I wish I was a southern peach, I love to see the temple, I like to clean, I hate texting, I love my job, I like the mornings, I wish I was still tight with old friends, I could eat pie all day, I like climbing on roofs, I'll never turn down french fries,  I feel okay that I go to bed at 9pm, I don't want to have a funeral in my behalf (I won't even be there!) I squeel at the gates of disneyland, still."

I'm not sure that would get me the job. But if it did, it'd be awesome.